Trust

I've come a long way from being that wary gal who never believed those closest to me really meant what they said, felt the way they felt, and in the end the result would be that they would stab you in the back by lying to your face. And so I didn't let anyone see all of me.

I was working hard (and I do mean really really hard) to overcome all my insecurities, to trust, to be a better woman for myself. Once discovering BDSM, it just clicked. I might have been scared to open all of myself, but I did it anyway and you know what? I haven't regretted it.

The hardest thing to reconcile from the breakup has been the trust aspect. To go from complete trust, murmurs of stability, goals, events to be achieved together to "kthanksbai!"* after the first real moment to find compromise with each other... Coming back has been a little hard.

I know I will trust again, I will forgive the past and love and attract that man to be so many things in my life that I am grateful for already. I guess it's time to focus on the future, and not the past, so I can be open to it all.


*NOT what was actually said