In Hiding

I haven't posted anything in the last three days. If I don't get something out I think my head may just explode. It's not that I haven't been writing, it's just... everything that comes out has been all "poor me wah wah wah."

And frankly, that's not exactly something I want to dwell on, let alone project to the world. The facts are these: I have a lot on my plate.

But here I am. The pain from my knee has become far more manageable which is an extremely good thing seeing as it will be weeks before I even get word that worker's comp has approved -- or denied -- my surgery. Functioning in everyday life, accomplishing tasks required of me, and still keeping some cognisance of mental stability has not only become easier, but well, better than it was before I could walk without pain.

I learned that my tenants of nearly three years are moving out of my condo at the end of May. The curse is that I no longer have their last month's rent. I take full responsibility for the mismanagement, and now I am left with scrambling on an extremely low income to find a way to not only pay for my rent, but my condominium's mortgage, and HOA dues. Let alone all my other bills. The silver lining in all this is that it is possible. It's looking like I might just be able to do it. And, my condo is in an extremely desirable area, nice and clean in a quite neighborhood. Oh, and bonus? For all it's amenities, getting someone to lease it for a year will be a piece of cake.

And lastly (or at least what I'm going to share), there is the task of finding a job -- a career -- for myself. I'm tired of living and working under my worth. I'm setting my bar higher, back to where it needs to be, in a field I can thrive in. Even if I don't have a college degree.

I'm not saying I don't still break down and cry, get stressed, I do. But it is a short burst and then it is gone, leaving me with more hope in its wake. I can't hide from my life just because I get afraid sometimes.

Fin.