The Morning After

Good morning internet neighbors! Well, I'm back from an uber successful surgery and I am just amazed. The only delay in my recovery is because I was in so much pain after coming out of surgery they gave me a nerve block. BUT! Just this morning I was able to put about 30% of my weight on my leg with the aid of crutches -- and go to the bathroom by myself (I cannot tell you how happy I am about that).

The day kind of started out with a little drama with my parents and escalated after the surgery. The original plan was that my mom was going to pick me up and I would spend the night with her, and then she would drive me back down to my dad's and go to work. I knew my mom has been under some pressure and how valuable she is to her work, so yesterday morning I called my Dad asking if I could go home with him, since my mom seemed a little stressed. Before I could get a chance to call my mom I get a call from her asking what the heck that was all about.

Obviously the situation could have been handled better and what made it worse is I kept flipping my decision to try and please my mom once I saw how angry she was. Unbeknownst to me, she had called work asking for Tuesday AND Wednesday off so she could care for me. I love her, but I weighed my options and I knew all I would be thinking about at my mom's would be to clean her house (she lives alone in the desert with her two dogs AND works 6 days a week -- cleaning is low on her priority). My dad's house is clean, in an area with a better climate and he's a far better cook. Also, the rooms are more spacious and thus, better for crutch navigation. And most importantly, I wanted to test myself. My dad has been telling me nothing but "how bad his knee pain and recovery" was. I wanted a chance to stick up for myself and tell him that NOT how my recovery was going to be. I wanted to tell my dad the truth, rather than cringe and hide like I've been doing.

I just didn't know how to communicate that to my mother.

I know I hurt her feelings pretty badly and she became more angry than I have seen her in over 10 years. I got yelled at twice last night and cried both times. The worst part was the things she said. Yes, some were true, but I didn't voice which ones were not true to me. We're still talking, and I wouldn't exactly say there's tension, but I'm confused on how to proceed.

I know I made the right decision and it is a gorgeous day outside so I think I'll take my book, tea, water and lounge outside in the sun. Hooray for mobility!