Manageable Pain

Whew... two days until the surgery. So nervous. So excited. So hopeful. 

The closer I get to the surgery the more I hear talk about "manageable pain" or people "living with the pain." My knee jerk reaction was why the hell would I want to do that?! And then I had to take a step back and realize what my proclivities are.

It does not matter if it is the blissful, hot burn of muscles after a good run, the heart-pounding baptism of cold, sharp air hitting my lungs, the flush of presenting myself to my Dom, the warm sting as his belt makes its mark on my bare bottom, the sharp stab I feel as I step, or the uncomfortable strain of ligaments stretched just so, past normal -- they are all the same at their base. They are sensations.

And it's just a matter of how my brain decides to translate them.

I'm still torn between thinking there is good pain and there is bad pain, but recently I've been gifted with the experience that they can be one in the same. To me, manageable pain means a pain that drives me, a pain that is good for me, that can be useful or reminds me of a secret intimate moment. Manageable pain is good pain. It is something I can work with. And this knee injury has really pushed my boundaries as far as what pain means to me. It is now something I can work with.

So maybe, just maybe, all pain is good pain.

Or maybe that's the Oxycodone talking (but here's to hoping its not).