How Do I Love Myself?

It's a little known observation that in the past, I have a food addiction. When I'm anxious, or sad, I usually go for something sweet, something fast foodie and binge.... and when things are really bad? I swing in the complete opposite direction and only eat one meal a day, usually dinner.

I've been running on a cup of coffee in the morning and "dinner" at night for a little while now. This weekend I barely could get myself out of bed. Hell, I wouldn't even be drinking coffee if it wasn't the reason I set up to get myself out of bed.

Why have I let myself get to this place? What great boulder did I place in front of myself to stun me so? Well, simply it has been through self-actualization. Logically, if you dig deeper into your emotional bank of goodies, you will discover the seeds, the points of origin. And once those seeds have been struck, they seem to blossom outwards, vibrating with paralyzing vulnerability. At my core, two tender seeds have been struck:

Self-Love

&

Self-Acceptance

My brain cannot form what is going on, other than healing is taking place. I am cognizant that I need to allow the shifts that are occurring to happen. That I just need to allow my own radiant self-love, my own infinite self-acceptance to occur. That forgiveness is essential and I cannot move forward until I let go. Until I tell that scarred, frightened beyond words little girl inside of me that she is OK. That she is safe and that the adult me has got her back. Because Love is eternal. Because God is the Infinite and cannot ever stop or die or be limited by anything. Because the past is the past and placing fault upon myself or others does me no good now.