Brain Dump

This is a pretty empty post, I will not lie. This weekend, while eventful in my head, what outwardly very, very sloth-like. Seriously, I looked and felt like a couch potato/ mildly depressed teen staying in bed / pajamas most of the day. And yeah, the mildly depressed part is accurate, I can admit it. Everyone has those kinds of days.... or weeks.... or whatever. To each their own and all that.

Anyway, Mondays are actually one of my favorite days. They give me a sense of new, of opportunity. As paralyzed and stuck as I have made myself over golly knows how long... I detest idleness. When I worked full-time and had a M-F schedule, weekends felt so gross to me because I didn't reach out and create fun, productive days (also, any doctor's, contacts, etc, that I needed to reach were CLOSED. Don't they use the 50 hr work week that I did?). But hey, now is not then and now I can have the attitude of: Today is Monday, today is a blank slate. Today I can be grateful for the mini-recuperation, the opportunity of emotional awareness. I can be super grateful to learn that, "oh, that's why I reacted that way. Oh that's how I forgive myself."

You know, the little things.

It's weird, as I have been changing my thinking and learning to not only acknowledge what I have been doing lately, but I instead use the events before me to my advantage. In my eyes, if it can get me to be more compassionate, to see God in EVERYTHING, I can mostly accept being my own personal guinea pig without grumbling (hey, I'm not perfect). And hey, who cares if right now -- today -- I'm really starting my day at noon? I can't -- I WON'T -- harp on myself. I'm just going to do the best that I can and feel good about myself. Because feeling genuinely good about myself makes me more productive, happy, and a way more helpful person to the world.

Also:

Happy Monday Folks!