I have this nasty habit of using if. As in, "if I don't do the laundry, then I can't wear pretty clothes" ... even though I have several outfits I can wear. It's a side effect of perfectionism. I punish myself for even the slightest of infractions and criticize myself brutally, to the point of severe mental abuse. Seriously, now that I'm aware of my self-talk, I'm shocked at what comes forward.
Thankfully I've made steps in this area and each time I fall off that proverbial wagon the ground appears to be getting closer. Take for instance my most recent of falls: I've scrubbed this house in nearly every room. Organized GENERATIONS of junk (I come from a line of pack rats, and am quite determined to break it), yet I haven't completely mastered the upkeep. I've nurtured and developed what is slowly blossoming into a healthy form of OCD, but in these new habits there are faults. While these new habits do not rely on the mighty "if", I am abolishing a lifetime of unhealthy habits, and raising the bar on what I consider "living standards". This in itself is not a miraculous healing, at least not for me.
Each time I feel like I've fallen into squalor just because I haven't put away the sheets or hung the clothes because I'm too tired I get to remind myself that I've made the bed, done the dishes, cleaned the bathroom, swept the floors AND given the dogs a bath. So really one fall from grace isn't all that bad.
It might take a few more tries, but I know I'm well on my way to perfect imperfection.
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