I've been wanting to write this for a long time, but I let life get in the way and all that. After reading a kind comment posted here I felt compelled to set things straight. Also, break the usual boo hoo post. Here's the thing: I mostly write when I feel compelled to get something out of my head. As a way to find objectiveness and, so that I can remember. 99% of the time I don't remember what upsetting thing happened from week to week. And as I move forward, the upsetting nature is diminishing due to my ability to process life in a healthier manner.
That being said, I live a pleasantly boring life (it's really not that boring to me, but terribly boring to write about). I don't know how to wax meaningful on the pleasantness of my life. I don't know how to convey my contentedness because, well, I experience it and don't need to study it? Journaling has always been my way of working through my emotions, the excess of energy in whatever form. As my happiness baseline is brought to a level that's more in balance... I don't write. I don't feel any right to write about how keeping the sink and kitchen relatively cleaned for over three months and what an accomplishment that is for me (and how I slowly build upon that cleaning schedule every week). Or how I'm really well and truly going back to college next year and how filled with hope and joy that I'm actually following my dreams. How, on the overall picture of things, I am grateful for how my life is and where I'm headed.
I'd feel braggy and weird if that's all I wrote about. Despite my post from months ago, this is a sexy community. We might not always write about a scene, but I don't have a couple's experience significant enough to share. And even if I did, would I really write about it? Who knows?
Life is changing for me in leaps and bounds, subtly and not so subtly. This commenter reminded me of how I want to present myself. Reminded me of my goal to be a role model, reminded me of why I'm going to school to obtain a doctorate. I've worked hard to better myself in real life but perhaps -- just perhaps -- it's time to better my online presence as well.
You know I get that and do look forward to your post and you do post about your upswings too. Not a lot lately but at times in the past we see into both extreams of your life that is what keeps this old boy coming back.
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Golly, I had to actually go back and read some of my older posts to see what you were talking about... I know it's only been months, but whoooo they feel like a lifetime ago, and written by a very different me. I know what has changed though: I went back to my book blogging roots and that's where most of my joy or "upswings" are mostly unfolding. Because, I mean, baking and books (and book boyfriends) are pretty much on par with sex (priorities, people, priorities). No the sexy for subgirl = imagination and cleverness come to play! But hey, I am a prism of personalities, and I think it's time I share a bit more of myself here. Happy readings Steel!
DeleteFor me, my blog is a journal for me, a place to share my thoughts, and a place to talk about my life in submission with others who understand this unique POV. I share scenes, and some downright personal stuff not to be an Attention Whore, but to connect with the people of this community. Whether you are currently in a relationship or not - you can relate. You can see yourself in that position. You can understand the writer's feelings and desires. I think that's what it is all about. Someone who is not D/s might read my blog and get a sexual thrill. Someone who IS submissive will read my blog and nod their head and say *yepyep* while acknowledging the sex. It is sharing a part of yourself you don't normally get to share, with other like minded ( mainly ) women who appreciate who you are and what you are going through. It's not braggy. It's showing me part of you I can connect to.
ReplyDeleteBut my passion for books ( I managed / worked in book stores for over 20 years ) , passion for cooking and baking, my passion for Clean Eating - these are things that connect as well. I'm interested in the whole package - sex, no sex, or a book discussion. :)
Mickey, your comment has touched me so greatly. Thank you so much for opening my eyes and for the encouragement. What you say is true, all of it.
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