Hope

I've been feeling the full spectrum of feelings that I think a single submissive can feel over the last few weeks. From subtle emotions to loud and extravagant "OH MY GOD MUST WANT," you name it, I've experienced it.

Thankfully I have ways to channel them effectively, but that still doesn't mean I don't find some of them... disconcerting. To me and my lingering fears of abandonment, the more tender feelings of, "oh yeah, that's what I want in my life" put me on edge of breathe SG, BREATHE and run, go, ignore, run away! I've gotten pretty good at letting that last one go, for the most part.

This has stemmed from an online correspondence between one Gentleman in particular. Whether He is aware of it or not (which I suspect He is), He has made an impact on my life. He has given me hope through flirty friendship that there's going to be someone out there in tune to me and my idiosyncrasies and me to his.

Because of His distance from me, I can explore safely my insecurities, I can be gently coaxed and accepted through all my wackiness and "weaknesses". And I can be cool with Him. I can be myself. Conversations are easy, they are fluid and fun and silly and it is what it is, and I am immensely grateful for even this gift of hope that I've been given in our interactions. I am grateful to renew my faith, and I am grateful for whatever comes next too.