Resting

Well other lovelies of the internet, as of last week I have officially foregone the cane and am now walking relatively well on my own. Pain is minimal but it is becoming extraordinarily clear that I am beyond out of shape.

Each night I am exhausted. Each morning I wake up to do it again. Each day my body feels as if I have gone to boot camp, nearly every muscle collectively groaning. Although I average 10 hours of sleep a night the large dark circles under my eyes coupled with the infantile stumbling I fall back on, it is not a stretch to say I dissolve into a zombie when tired.

Which is often.

And dreadfully comical.

Since I have moved in with my mother a few weeks back, along with making a few internet friends, the moral support has been overwhelming. It picks me back up again, slaps me mentally back into place, urging me forward so I may fully align back into myself. I must admit, however, that while I state "I am feeling more myself" often to others about my  progress, this is not entirely true. Because the SubGirl now is different from the SubGirl pre-injury.

I can't quite put my finger on it (as it feels more subconscious than anything else) but I'll catch myself being more determined and productive. Going out of my way to better me and my surroundings. And if anything that is why I will be eternally grateful for every tear, every "my world is coming to an end" thought, every cry to the heavens for pain relief, and most importantly every moment where I questioned myself.

So if I'm tired or sore or shambling around, who am I to complain?